


the man fucks... or does he?

by catchingtheblues



Category: Historical RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: M/M, the actual worst porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 16:19:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15911868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catchingtheblues/pseuds/catchingtheblues
Summary: Erwin Schrödinger fucks Philosophy. Or, rather, Phil fucks him.





	the man fucks... or does he?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xaeleste](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaeleste/gifts).



> i am not responsible for any emotional damages this may cause to others.

Philosophy is a beauty, not a doubt about it… maybe. With him outside the room, he’s both beautiful and not beautiful. You won’t know until he opens the door.

The door swings open and there he is, your one true love. Stunning. Your lover walks over to you, strokes your hair, kisses your fivehead. “My love,” he murmurs. “Should we? Should we not?”

“That is easily answered. Yes.”

He takes off your glasses and pushes you back into the bed. You go where he arranges you, always ready to please him. He’s in charge of you, has complete control of you. He challenges you, and he wins.

Phil straddles your thighs, and undoes your bowtie, unbuttons your shirt slowly. He’s either going to stick his manly member into you, or he’s not going to. You won’t know until it happens. You kiss him, tongues battling for dominance. You thrust your tongue into his mouth as he will thrust his meaty joy knob into you.

You can feel little Phil pressing against your thigh, erect like the Eiffel Tower. Yours is standing tall and proud, like a soldier at his post. His post being your underwear.

You don’t need any prep, of course, because in any fine porn, the receiver’s asshole is finely lubed at all times. And your pleasure trench is always ready for your beau. He tugs your pants off, or, as you like to call them, “pleasure packers”. The pleasure being your throbbing bed snake.

Finally he releases his pork lance, puts on a condom because safe sex is good sex. And good sex is the two of you, the cannons in your pants, and condoms.

He pushes your legs apart and parts your cheeks, the fleshy, spherical globes that cover your satisfaction crater. And he pushes his throbbing shaft, his battle ax, his pocket rocket, his dirty ice cream cone, into you.

His jelly roll is approximately seventeen inches long and thiccccc. It needs that many C’s. It causes no discomfort, only pure ecstasy. It immediately hits your prostate, your bliss button, your euphoria spot. He jabs it, but sexily.

Phil grunts like a warthog as he pounds you, like meat on the counter of a butcher shop in the middle of August with no heat, because it’s so hot.

You come, spunk exploding out of you like your pecker like a firehose. Phil ejaculates, in the most sexy way, pulls out of your sweet cavern.

Both of you go to shower, and make sweet love again.

**Author's Note:**

> my friend [kade](http://halstridxr.tumblr.com/) paid me $13 for this. im emotionally scarred so it wasn't worth it. feel free to yell at him. (but actually if you say a single mean word to him i'll end your life.)  
> shoutout to the [1000 ways to say penis article](http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/1000-ways-to-say-penis).  
> sorry for writing it in second POV homestuck took over my life and that's all i can write now.


End file.
